April Wishes and Flowers

A scaled the hill behind my house today.
I lost track trying to count of all the different kinds of flowers growing on a hill that is usually brown and dry. Seriously. Red, pink, purple, yellow… not the 8-color crayola box.. but the coveted 128 box so difficult to find. I now see what ‘cornflower’ looks like in real life.

The realization that today I am in a slice of time. In two weeks, all these flowers will be starved for water and disappear. I stop at each flower and admire. (okay, I’m also asphyxiating a litte cuz it is a steep climb.) I try to absorb it all. Distracted. Sobbing a little.

I see a patch of purple off the patch. I brave poison oak and hold on to the steep climb to find the most perfect purple irises. I sit in the middle of them .. okay, I fall asleep in the middle of them. For a time.

I’m not supposed to be here. I have work to do. The list of things. And yet today, on a Monday, I needed to venture UP. I am thinking of a little boy born a few days ago who I am praying for. I’m not good at praying, I’m not sure I know how to do it. All I know is he came in the world the scary way Sebastian did… and sadly, he is in the NICU. I am praying for him to keep his bloom a little longer.. to stay with us.

I’m not sure why the post today. I have nothing pithy or meditative to share.. just a wish.. put out in the universe that his little 8 mighty pounds can stay and  come visit our mountain and the tree we planted for him. Perhaps an exhale on this page will act like a wish dandelion and .. well… LOVE to you little man

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