Video Now

This morning my son woke up and told me Grandpa’s butterfly was gone.  I turned quickly to glance up at the lampshade to make sure it was still hanging there.  Whew.  It was.

My dad’s ashes are in a butterfly necklace and I have it near my bed.  I look at it every night when I go to sleep and I must admit I talk to my dad.   My son and I have never really discussed it.

“Grandpa is in there mommy.”  Sebastian holds the necklace and tells me it is so cold.  He starts blowing on it with his hands cupped the way I do with his hands when he is cold.  He holds the necklace for a long time.  “Grandpa likes this momma.”
My dad died four years ago.  I held his hand as he stopped breathing.  I’m a little sad today about something and thus my blogging.

Stop what you are doing right this moment and go video your parents and loved ones.  Ask them questions.  Get them on film.  What I would give right now to just pop in a video and watch my dad.

Last year I did this with Sebastian’s grandmother and I know he will cherish it.  My dad left before Sebastian was born and I am heartbroken he will have only my stories to know him.

I just sat here for a minute staring at my little boy.  The back of his head, still scruffy with bedhead, playing with his cracker car.  He just turned around and said, “Mom, I am not a TV.  Stop looking at me.”

Funny.  We don’t have a TV.

Maybe someday we will be able to pull our memories from our brains and dump them onto disk for others to see.  Albeit a scary idea, it calms me a little now and helps the regret of not filming my pop.

GO get a Flip Camera.  They are $100 – film your parents… your siblings and your best friends.  🙂

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