The truth is hard.
I donâ€™t know that I need to say more than that.
I should leave it there.
I think it is what we all want. Really. The truth.
We rarely set up systems in our life to make sure we get more of it.
Do these jeans make my butt look big?
You love her. She has gained weight. It has happened over time. She still wears the same size pants and the extra just sort of spills over in a â€˜muffin top.â€™
And you knowâ€¦ if you answer honestlyâ€¦ she will cry. Your weekend will be over. You will be forced to read “Men are from Mars” or “Love Languages” or something.
Why don’t we want to know the truth?
Once it is spoken, it is at least out there for us to deal with either the reality of the statement or the perception of the statement.
(Your wife is surprised you can even see the muffin top past the beer belly.)
Sorry. That one was low. I guess I’m saying, I watch myself get upset when I get the truth instead of celebrating it.
It is either the truth and I need to know it OR it is the perception of another. Either way, once it is out there, I can at least deal with it.
My uncle told me to always celebrate when people let you know where they are at.
My sister tells me to listen to what people do, not what they say.
Somewhere in all that family advice is an equation for happiness.
Reality and happiness.
Really. Read that again.
Absolute bliss happens the moment we know where we stand either in actuality or perception.
This applies to a member of a team with a boss and as the leader of the team who thinks they are the boss.
The true path of a leader in today’s sociological biosphere is someone who is really good at ‘getting’ reality. Not creating it… not rallying people with words… someone who wants the truth and the perception.Â A person who wants REAL so badly they are willing to be wrong, willing to be hurt and gain energy from anything painful.
A person who pays attention to how they receive information and makes sure that no matter how messy the vomit is that just got projected on the table, they pull is a part, lookÂ at it and think about it.
A friend of mine said once, “Leaders get the organization they deserve.”Â Â So true.
As a member of a team, any feedback I get from others can only help me deal with the reality of that statement. They either believe it to be true and it isn’t (I can work on perception) OR it is a cold hard fact and I better create some deliberate practices to start addressing my muffin top.Â (and buy some interim puffy jeans, less spillover)
This very moment is a summation of all of our choices.
Choices are formed with information.
Choose to embrace the things people say, especially when it isn’t pretty.
The data helps us form better choices.
Better choices lead to happiness.