I have a funky house. It is a tri-level built over 5 decades by humans who did not understand what a straight line is. We sit perched on top of a mountain with mountains behind us. We love it although we lean a little….
On the stairs is a ledge. I don’t know why it is there. It is at about eye level when descending the stairs at about 30% down. Over a year ago I noticed 3 pennies on the ledge. I laughed that my son must have thrown them there. I left them there.
Right up above the ledge is a collage. Ten years ago in a class I was asked to collage my greatest wish. My greatest wish was to have babies. Lots of them. It is a pretty collage that is obviously about children.
Years ago I showed it to sebastian and told him what it was. He asks about it every so often and every morning we walk past it on the way to breakfast.
Last Saturday, we were rushing to go to Santa Cruz Beach Boardwalk and Kiva… mommy and Sebastian’s favorite treat. On the way down the stairs, Sebastian asked me to sit down on the stairs.
“I need to show you something important Mom.”Â This is code in our house for, sit your butt down and pay attention.
“Do you see the pennies Momma?”
Yes, honey. They have been there for a while.
“I know. I put them there when I was two so you could have 3 more babies. They go with the wish picture you made. I will be one of 4.”
My kid knows how to stop me in my tracks….Â Luckily he counts our cat as one… the dog we will get when he is 7 as two…. do mice count as 3?
Okay.Â So I just like to write cute stories about my kid on my blog.Â They aren’t always ANYTHING to do with communication.Â Although, this one is.Â Years ago I noticed that parents had a tone and a ‘spot’ when they were about to ‘discipline’ a kid.Â I watched as kids reduced their listening because they knew what was coming.
I decided I was going to mix it up.Â Make it so Sebastian didn’t know what I was going to say.Â Sometimes, an important talk is about a grandpa story.Â SOmetimes, it is about feeding the cat.Â Sometimes, it is about beautiful moments he and I will never forget.
Most of us teach people not to listen to us.Â We do preambles that put the person on notice that the information about to come is going to hurt.Â Â Instead, just say it.Â Be IN IT.Â Not about it.
There.Â Kid stories that indulge the mom and um.. do something else.