Archive for January, 2008

Ho’oponopono

 HO’OPONOPONO
by Joe Vitale 

“Two years ago, I heard about a therapist in Hawaii who cured  a complete ward of criminally insane patients–without ever seeing any of  them. The psychologist would study an inmate’s chart and then look within  himself to see how he created that person’s illness. As he improved himself,  the patient improved.

“When I first heard this story, I thought it was an  urban legend. How could anyone heal anyone else by healing himself? How could  even the best self-improvement master cure the criminally insane? It  didn’t make any sense. It wasn’t logical, so I dismissed the story.

“However, I heard it again a year later. I heard that the  therapist had used a Hawaiian healing process called ho ‘oponopono. I had  never heard of it, yet I couldn’t let it leave my mind. If the story was  at all true, I had to know more. I had always understood  “total responsibility” to mean that I am responsible for what I think and do.  Beyond that, it’s out of my hands. I think that most people think of  total responsibility that way. We’re responsible for what we do, not  what anyone else does–but that’s wrong.

“The Hawaiian therapist who  healed those mentally ill people would teach me an advanced new perspective  about total responsibility. His name is Dr. Ihaleakala Hew Len. We probably  spent an hour talking on our first phone call. I asked him to tell me the  complete story of his work as a therapist.

He explained that he  worked at Hawaii State Hospital for four years. That ward is where they  kept the criminally insane was dangerous.

Psychologists quit on a  monthly basis. The staff called in sick a lot or simply quit. People would  walk through that ward with their backs against the wall, afraid of being  attacked by patients. It was not a pleasant place to live, work, or visit.

“Dr. Len told me that he never saw patients. He agreed to have  an office and to review their files. While he looked at those files,  he would work on himself. As he worked on himself, patients began to heal.

“‘After a few months, patients that had to be shackled were  being allowed to walk freely,’ he told me. ‘Others who had to be  heavily medicated were getting off their medications. And those who had  no chance of ever being released were being freed.’ I was in awe.’Not only  that,’ he went on, ‘but the staff began to enjoy coming to work.

Absenteeism and turnover disappeared. We ended up with more staff  than we needed because patients were being released, and all the staff  was showing up to work. Today, that ward is closed.’

“This is where I  had to ask the million dollar question: ‘What were you doing within yourself  that caused those people to change?’

“‘I was simply healing the part of  me that created them,’ he said. I didn’t understand. Dr. Len explained that  total responsibility for your life means that everything in your life- simply  because it is in your life–is your responsibility. In a literal sense the  entire world is your creation.

“Whew. This is tough to swallow. Being  responsible for what I say or do is one thing. Being responsible for what  everyone in my life says or does is quite another. Yet, the truth is this: if  you take complete responsibility for your life, then everything you see,  hear, taste, touch, or in any way experience is your responsibility because  it is in your life. This means that terrorist activity, the president,  the economy or anything you experience and don’t like–is up for you  to heal. They don’t exist, in a manner of speaking, except as  projections from inside you. The problem isn’t with them, it’s with you, and  to change them, you have to change you.

“I know this is tough to  grasp, let alone accept or actually live. Blame is far easier than total  responsibility, but as I spoke with Dr. Len, I began to realize that healing  for him and in ho ‘oponopono means loving yourself.

“If you want to  improve your life, you have to heal your life. If you want to cure anyone,  even a mentally ill criminal you do it by healing you.

“I asked Dr.  Len how he went about healing himself. What was he doing, exactly, when he  looked at those patients’ files?

“‘I just kept saying, ‘I’m sorry’ and  ‘I love you’ over and over again,” he explained.   ”That’s  it?”      “That’s it”.

“Turns out that loving yourself is the greatest way to improve yourself, and as you improve yourself, you improve your world.

“Let me give you a quick example of how this works: one day,  someone sent me an email that upset me. In the past I would have handled it  by working on my emotional hot buttons or by trying to reason with  the person who sent the nasty message.

“This time, I decided to try  Dr. Len’s method. I kept silently saying, ‘I’m sorry’ and ‘I love you,’ I  didn’t say it to anyone in particular. I was simply evoking the spirit of  love to heal within me what was creating the outer circumstance.

“Within an hour I got an e-mail from the same person. He  apologized for his previous message. Keep in mind that I didn’t take any  outward action to get that apology. I didn’t even write him back. Yet,  by saying ‘I love you,’ I somehow healed within me what was creating him.

“I later attended a ho ‘oponopono workshop run by Dr. Len. He’s now 70 years old, considered a grandfatherly shaman, and is somewhat reclusive.

_http://hooponopono.org/lectures.html_ (http://hooponopono.org/lectures.html)


Posted by Christina on January 30th, 2008

Kids learn life from how we drive a car

A father, who worked away from home all week, always made a special effort with his family on the weekends. Every Sunday morning he would take his 7-year old daughter out for a drive in the car for some bonding time. One particular Sunday however, he had a bad cold and he really didn’t feel like being up at all. Luckily, his wife came to the rescue and said that she would take their daughter out.

 When they returned, the little girl anxiously ran upstairs to see her father. “Well,” the father asked, “did you enjoy your ride with mommy?”

“Oh yes, Daddy” the girl replied, “and do you know what? We didn’t see a single dumb bastard or lousy S*$#thead!”

 Brings a tear to your eye doesn’t it?   (author unknown)

When someone cuts me off on the road- I say outloud “I hope you make it!”  I imagine the person is rushing to be at their dying loved one’s bedside … 

Kids learn from us when we aren’t teaching.   -Christina

Posted by Christina on January 29th, 2008

Leadership and Ambition do not go hand in hand

Simon Sinek is a brilliant human….
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/simon-sinek/ambition-versus-leadershi_b_83654.html

Posted by Christina on January 28th, 2008

Selecting a president is like buying a new car

Imagine for a moment you are the advertising executive for a car company. It is imperative you produce a campaign that causes consumers to buy your car. You meet with tons of people, you do focus groups and you get tons of advice. It is the first day the spot will air on television - you are pleased with the perfection of the message.

The image flickers on the screen- your car drives by extremely slow. A cyber-arrow points to the fact that the car has FOUR wheels, a combustible engine, a windshield and that the company that built the car has been in business for 25 years. A voice drones on about the 4 wheels, the engine and the windshield. Musak plays in the background.
This is what I feel like when I watch political campaign ads. In particular, Hillary Clinton. Her campaign is messaging on the things most American so not dispute. She has experience, she knows diplomacy and she is smart. Four wheels, a windshield and an engine.

Now that’s a car that knows how to stand out! Consumers will be lining up to buy a car that has 4 wheels, an engine and a windshield. Brillance!
Political campaigns need to hire (and listen) to folks who understand: DOMINATE BUYING MOTIVE.

Clearly the voice is not getting through! The time is now to sell the reason we should buy the car- the difference. The heart.

Posted by Christina on January 23rd, 2008

Speed Networking

I just attended a networking event and nearly stuck a needle in my eye.  Facilitating a Woman only Speed Networking event is a cross between the Junior High School Square Dance during Gym class AND a Tupperware Party. 

 It is true that Women are relationship-people – it is what we do.  We swim in the deep-end while washing our hands in a public bathroom – it happens quickly.

 That being said, translating our behavioral instinct toward relationship to business/sales/cash is an intricate system of levers and pulleys often met with a fiery death of business card promises that do not result in anything other than lost time.    Most of us have enough friends – what we need are relationships that result in business of some sort.  We want to move up the Maslow pyramid and into transformation and look great while doing it.

 We like to do business with people we know.  It is also hard to refer someone into one of our clients unless we know what they do- if we have experienced it.    Often at these events folks call me so I can help them rather than some sort of quid pro quo.  It makes it weird for everyone.

 Speed Networking is an amazing concept and it is rarely done well.  To truly facilitate value in such an extravaganza, keep some things in mind:

1)     Set up the room beforehand for random networking in groups of 4.  Put a colored dot on their name badge and have them group up this way.  Make women Get up and network out of their chairs and not across a table.  We don’t do well with furniture and our somatic make-up responds to movement.

2)     Set a level playing field:  Give each person time to introduce themselves using some clear format so that everyone uses the same format.  Keep it simple: 

a.     What I do

b.     Why you care

c.      What I need

d.     Something personal or funny

e.      My name and how you can remember it

3)     Set it up so folks know it is okay to not have any referrals for someone.  The last thing anyone needs is pressure to hold hands when there is no real interest.  One way I have seen this work well is to ask folks to write on their business card why they want the person to call them:  I have business for you OR I want to see if we can partner in some way OR I am intrigued.  This way it is clear to the person why they are calling.  You can even tell the person to write “self-serving” and make it okay for the person not to call them if they just don’t have the time.   I know it sounds harsh and it is SO appreciated.  It makes women come up with ways NOT to be self-serving.  I did this with a group of CEO’s and one woman needed another woman’s perspective on a political race.  She didn’t want to write self-serving so she came up with a way to GIVE something to the woman in exchange.  They are still working together now.    Make it real – not fake.

4)     Provide central timing.  Time each person and have everyone stop and applaud before going to the next person in the group.  This way everyone gets the same amount of time.  After the applause the other group members can ask questions of the presenter for 1 minute.  Applaud to get everyone to stop and then move to the next person.  This removes the discomfort of someone going on.  Provide time for folks to just ‘chat’ for a moment or two afterwards everyone is done.

5)     It is in lesson (2) of this writing and I repeat it here.  This is critical.  Include a personal or comical question in the introduction format to give folks more relationship in that minute.  Women like the deep-end and levity – make it part of the DNA of the exercise. 

a.      What are you most proud of in your life? 

b.     What was your favorite breakfast cereal as a kid?

c.      Your secret compulsion

d.     Embarrassing moment

6)     If doing one or more – mix up the room a little.  On their name tag also have a number if you want to have a second round so they group up 1-5 , 5-10 etc.  Make it so they have to scurry about trying to find their group.  This exercise of finding their group is fun and gets people moving.   A lot of speed networking events confine women to small spaces and have the event so controlled we don’t get to move around and be lost for a minute.  DO not over control the group.

7)     Call on random women to introduce themselves to the group – just a few.   This works really well to encourage folks to know each other and attend these sorts of things.  (Especially the first ones to arrive – it gives them a bonus for being on time.)

8)     In my company one of our core signature products is The Human Relationship is the True Currency™ wherein we use skill-building that creates the relationships that result in a stronger network and ultimately business.   Attendees of a networking event are best served by some sort of facilitated outcome or skill-building instead of just introductions to each other.   We make strangers team up in a group and do an exercise together – tie it to a skill – give them some learning AND THEN do the networking piece.  Think about it – our closest business relationships are usually around some sort of event or task.  Make it happen and make it educational.

9)     Have fun.  The facilitator needs to be part stand-up comedienne…. J

Posted by Christina on January 16th, 2008

You Tube will change this election

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pl-W3IXRTHU

 Keep being real Hillary Clinton -

integrate the personal and political….

Just don’t back away from the emotion of this video. 

Please.

Posted by Christina on January 8th, 2008

An Orthodontist who knows Service

http://www.drshengarnett.com/mainDF.html

I teach customer service.  This orthodontist’s office should teach it.

Every single person who walked by me, who worked there, stopped and said hello to me.  I started watching them and they did it with everyone.

 They walked me through the office and showed me everything complete in airline flight attendant style.  They have an ice cream contest.  They have flat screens on the ceiling so you can watch movies or shows while you get the chompers worked on. 

 

Absolute attention to detail and ALL about making the customer feel like an individual.  Brava!

Yes.  I am getting braces.  A little freaked out by it.  Invisalign is what I think we are going to go with for 11 months.

 sigh.

Posted by Christina on January 7th, 2008

Thank you Askimet

Askimet:  the blog spam blocker.

Perfection.  Not one spam comment in 3 days.  I am blessed.

 

Posted by Christina on January 7th, 2008

Today is Gretchen Schoenstein Day in San Francisco (and San Jose)

if you don’t know her - Gretchen is an incredible woman who is the Executive Director of Emerge California.  Today we celebrated with 72 women and 2 men the Mayor’s proclamation naming today Gretchen Schoenstein Day.

www.emergecalifornia.org

An incredible event - thank you to all who made it happen and in particular, Fiona Ma for arriving to present and honor Ms. Schoenstein.

Posted by Christina on January 6th, 2008

How it is said

Four months ago I called Huckabee, an unknown, as the Republican candidate.  I heard him on the radio.  He is pragmatic and runs toward the issues most candidates avoid.

Example?  His prolife stance.  When asked about morals in America in a debate, he answered the question by saying he is ProLife.  The problem with Prolifers is they stop caring about the individual once they are born.  OUr moral challenge in this country is to take care of the individual.   The audience nods while he speaks.  Nods, because he doesn’t avoid the subject - he brings it up.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iJ3eIJ_fYAQ&feature=related

Creationism.  I am scared by his opinion on this.  AND in the debate he answers the question so clearly.  “I believe in God.  As a believer in God of course I believe God created this earth.  It was not some accident.  AND I live in the United States of America where each person chooses their beliefs and we are not supposed to agree on everything.  We are supposed to protect the beliefs of others especially when they are different than our own.  I am not running for a position to teach children biology - I am running for president of the finest country in the world.   (I am paraphrasing)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n-BFEhkIujA

People will vote for this guy because of the way he confronts the issues and speaks plainly about them.

I was wrong about Iowa thought.  I said Edwards would take it with Obama second and Hillary third.   I am excited to see Obama take it.  It says a lot about how far our country has come in the past 40 years.

Obama needs to get better at debating if he is going to beat Huckabee.  Hillary on the other hand could slaughter him in the debates and still won’t win the hearts and votes of the American people.  I so wish the Hillary campaign would set the woman free.  The Hillary Ads, the Hillary Stumps are not the woman I have met.  It looks like she is heading toward the history books of lost campaigns with Gore and Kerry.

Can she turn it around?  Yes.  She needs to change her camp … stop circling the wagons..stop being so perfect.. stop circling the wagons.  Her people are too  protective of her and frankly she does not need it.  The woman is wicked smart - stop making her perfect.  Messaging on her smarts, experience and international diplomacy is the wrong message.  No one disagrees with those three things.

Huckabee talks about Clinton:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vCTNy4i0KLk&NR=1

Again, this guy gets it.  If you are reading this blog right now.. stop reading and buy the book

Homo Politicus

http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0385517505/bookstorenow30-20

Huckabee I am sure has read it.  The other candidates - to compete - need to get that the American people are not of their tribe.

I will not vote for Huckabee.  I am still in awe of his verbal talent.   I like the guy- even though I don’t agree with most of his beliefs.
Liberals need to learn that last sentence.   Like the person, have fun competing for the position and stop making it such a fight.

Enough preaching for 4am.  Have a great day.

Posted by Christina on January 4th, 2008