Has this every happened to you?

You wake up in the morning. The sun is shining.. the birds are singing.. you sing “Rockin’ Robin” and shake your butt while brushing your teeth. There is a skip in your step. Have one of those days where everything feels aligned and robust. Decide to attend the Human Rights Watch dinner at the Fairmont.

You arrive early. You realize that 10 hours of life have rubbed off the delicate artistic strokes of Benefit Mascara and eye glitter. You walk in the Ladies and look around you. There are 6 face make-up kiosks in the ladies waiting area (uh, wow, the Fairmont knows women) You belly up and begin the paint by numbers extra action freshen up.

Satisfied, you walk to get your name tag. As you walk away, you hear your name called. “Christina!” You turn and see someone you know and assume this is the purpose of the shout. The lovely lady behind the check-in table tells you that you are a VIP and should venture up to the penthouse. Cool. You feel like you got picked first for kickball or something. Nice surprise.

You go to the elevator and take the gentle ride to the top. As you get out of the elevator, you walk around an incredible suite of rooms. Difficult to describe how lovely it is. You could live there.

You turn the corner and run in to an old friend. You have known him since high school. He was one of your favorite people. You remember fondly the time he ordered pizza in the middle of History class. You remember his black-checkered Vans… You are elated. You start to almost hug him… As you beam recognition.. and you are about to go in for that hug, he puts out his hand and says “Hi, I am Sean. This is my wife Robin.”

Zoinks. I didn’t go to high school with the guy- he is an actor. Doh.

It is the weirdest thing, that reaction. You sheepishly say something really dumb like, “love your work” and move as quickly as possible to get away from Mr. and Mrs. Penn.

As you turn to wipe your brow, you run headlong into Batman. You actually crash into the guy and cause him to lose a step. You actually let out a little cry, not of embarrassment – of surprise.

You stumble over your words, your pumps and chastise yourself for being such a star freaker. (Unable to act normal around famous people)

Your only familiar in the room, spits peanuts as they chuckle at your lack of grace and style. At least only one person witnessed this embarrassing moment.. it isn’t like you are dumb enough to blog about it our anything….

www.bayareadiscoverymuseum.com

My son and I spent a few hours in one of the most fabulous places on earth: The Bay Area Discovery Museum. There are tons of things for little ones to do… the most incredible view if you sit in one of the giant birds nests, yummy vegetarian chili in the cafe and so many buttons to push and levers to pull at grubby hand level.

A word to the wise, I learned this from my wise friend Sarah: Do the water exhibit at the end. Even with the cute little lady bug aprons..your one year old will have a Flashdance moment and leave SOAKED.

There is an inverse relationship between fitting in and creativity. I spoke yesterday for a group of healthcare CEO’s. A 2-hour presentation with the intent to shine a little light on the principles I believe in and teach.

It is an uphill walk for me as I walk into a Los Angeles fancy pants highrise with an incredible view. My Crayola Red hair does not compute with my brown pin striped suit. The judgment is apparent.

This is nothing new. I experience it almost every day. I am often asked why I have my hair this color- knowing that it impacts my professional career to the negative.

I have some ideas. Why. I am not sure which is really why. I like my hair this way. I like being weird.

It is just my way of controlling what I am judged for. I guess.
The funny thing is.. I worry… what happens when bright red hair is suddenly in fashion. I have had my hair like this off and on for 10 years and I am starting to notice other professionals coming over to my side.

What will I do to expess my individuality then. ?

A decorated war veteran has the right to make a remark about people in the military. In his time, the only way to avoid Vietnam was to stay in school, be an outspoken homosexual or have some sort of physical malady. As a people, we need to keep in mind the experience of a person as they make their remarks.

There are kids in Iraq who are giving their lives to a war no one believes in. If we look at the statistics, most of these kids are from lower or middle class. Kerry’s remarks are not too far off the mark.

There is a choice a person makes when they are 18. I remember that choice. I chose to go to Junior College and work full time to support it. My dad told me my whole life that college was a waste of time and for some reason I didn’t listen. I knew I wanted a degree. For what purpose, I didn’t know.

I was a very uncomfortable teenager in high school. All around me kids were growing up, having sex, making very adult decisions. I, frankly, wanted to stay a child. I remember counting how much time I still had as a child- I did it almost every day, from the age of 12 on. I had so much freedom, my dad let me do whatever I wanted, that growing up seemed scary to me. I had nothing to rebel against.

Walking around the high school with out bells, I felt I did not fit in. I was fearful and reluctant. One little comment from a person would send me reeling and almost fleeing. I lived alone in an apartment – how different it may had been had I had the roommate situation.

One day, a beautiful young woman, who I had admired from afar, asked me why I wore black all the time. I hadn’t noticed that I did this and I went into this tailspin realizing I did not know fashion. Looking back, I realize I had no money and one pair of black shoes. I was just matching the shoes in a pathetic attempt to fit in.

I was so good at Chemistry. It was shocking how much I loved it and how easy it came to me. I quit going- not because of the material but because I didn’t feel I fit in to the class. I ‘ll take it next year. Each day I painfully pushed myself to get on those 3 buses to get to the campus.

I finally decided to quit. It was in the middle of an English class and a quiz. I did not know any of the answers to the questions on the test. Not one. My brain seized up. I felt stupid. So I quit. I walked home- it took 3 hours.

I felt really stupid. Like college was too much for me. Looking back I realize it was life, my dad being terminally ill and other crap that was causing all the fear. I got a part time job and a full time job and decided to just keep busy.

A year later I was in a car accident. 7 cars on the way to a party- my friends in a car in front of me – my friends in a car behind me. (none of them going to college) . It wasn’t a major accident- someone slammed on their breaks when they saw the party house and the rest of just bumped bumpers. We all had to get out and one of the people called the cops.

The cops arrived, one of the drivers was drunk. They made us all stand on the curb and wait as they sorted it all out. One of the drivers of another car was the beautiful young man. He darted over to me and said, “HEY, I know you. Where did you go?” I looked at him through my Cold Duck haze (Yes, I was drinking too) and couldn’t place him. He gushed, “You and I were in Chemistry class together. You were the only good looking chick in the whole class and I had my sites on you- where did you go?”

That has always stuck with me. That story. How close I was to acceptance. How different my life would have been had I gone to class one more day- maybe the day this boy would have talked to me. I told him so. I told him, likely cuz I was drunk, why I left. He laughed. Got my phone number. Never called.

I thought about going back to school then. Didn’t. It wasn’t until a later boyfriend asked me why I wasn’t in college. I was honest. I told him I felt dumb and not smart enough so I gave up. I will never forget what happened next.

I loved this guy and he really loved me. We were so cute together. We were always so nice to each other. He looked at me and said, “I do not think I can be in a relationship with someone who is afraid to try. With a quitter. You need to go back to school.”

And I did. I went and signed up that week. Got straight A’s. Worked both jobs and went to school. Started a company and went to school at night and got almost straight A’s.

I am just one car accident and one love relationship from not having a college education. How different my life would be. I may not have ended up in Iraq- though I do know I would not be sitting here on a plane heading to Orange County to teach a bunch of attorneys had I missed my opportunity.

Kerry- I know what you meant. Thank you for saying it. Maybe one kid in that audience made a decision to stay in school. Good for you.

I must admit,I rarely have time to read the newspaper. I depend upon my husband to fill me in on the highlights so I can google them before I go to bed. I realize that the spousal filter sometime limits the news I hear- it is life in the fast lane.

Hubby tells me that Kerry made a major error in a speech and really screwed the Democrats. He tells me about how Kerry said something about the kids in Iraq being too dumb for college or something like that. I search on the internet and listen to NPR. Yes, everyone is up in a hoopla about this speech. Kerry’s camp says it was a written speech delivered wrong. A Joke gone bad. Etc.

I am sick of this crap people. My hackles are up.

ONE: Do not tell jokes if you are not good at it. That is SO 1970. Audiences do not want to hear jokes - they are there to hear YOUR perspective. If you can tell the perspective in a humorous way- fantastic. Whoever is coaching Kerry is stuck in the past BEFORE reality televison, pod casts, the internet and blogs. The NIxon/Kennedy debates taught a generation that on TV as long as You LOOKED good you could win a debate, a race and fool the American People. (I am not saying that is what Kennedy did- I am saying that if you listen to the debates- Nixon won. If you watch them- Kennedy won. We are now in a new communication millineum. Politicians need to ketch’up! This isn’t a television society anymore… we are now the internet society.. BE REAL.

TWO: if ANYONE has the right… has earned the freakin’ right to criticize the military and tell kids to STAY IN SCHOOL so they don’t go to war (like Iraq) a decorated war veteran who VOLUNTARILY put his middle class ‘didn’t have to go’ ass on a bus and later a plane to vietnam. The man was nearly killed over there at the age of 23. Now, let’s think of a moment - if you weren’t in school during his period, you’d get drafted. So of course he sees staying in school as staying safe. The dude is using his experience to try and shake some students into education. What we do in this country is why so many folks are afraid to speak in public. We make a mis-step and automitically we are attacked for how the message was heard rather than what we meant. I can remember telling a room for of highschool juniors 12 years ago during a Camp Enterprise Rotary event to go to college. Not because of the education gang, sure that is a benefit you will enjoy later, I am telling you to go because you will have SANCTIONED and sometimes paid for , 4 years of hanging out with other young people.. parties… high school with out bells. Anyone who wants to go right into the work force come with me and visit corporate america and the rat cubes- it is not fun. DELAY it as much as possible. Now, I have had at least 3 people contact me since them telling me that my little talk made them go to school and they graduated. If I had been in Kerrys’ shoes, parents would have called me out on the carpet for DARING to encourage kids to party. errrr.

A TWO YEAR OLD understands what Kerry meant. We need to consider the source when we consider what the person is saying. Take into account the person and their history. If we are being our honest true selves- we will ALWAYS slip up in communication. Lighten up America. This reminds me of the Bowling for Columbine movie. (I love this movie) In it, the director interviews Kirk Douglas who comes off as a gun totin’ racist. You know, I have more respect for a person who lived through the PRE civil rights era who has come ALONG way toward equality than I do some white kid who accepts what he has always known. Kirk Douglas had to learn to release the prejudices he was raised in. That is to be commended- not chastised.

THREE: Stand by what we meant when we said it. THis reminds me of the Hillary Clinton “You are an angry person” debacle. She responded, “I am not an angry person.” Thus the press repeated this defensive posture over and over. Instead, OWN it. Say, “I AM MORALLY OUTRAGED by what has happend to my country.” (Hey, dude, where’s my country.) The same holds true for Howard Dean - had he OWNED his highpitched squeal- he may have got the nomination.

I would rather be hated for who I am than loved for who I am not. TV has taught us to LOOK right. Reality TV is a set up now, we airbrush people in magazines… we want everything to look perfect. Times are a changing grey hairs… catch up! Your sons and daughters, many of them, have video camera capability right on their phone. They have blogs… the new media is all the little people, like me, writing at 1am. Uploading a picture or two. There is a new way to communicate.

Senator John Kerry, hear me, FIRE your speech coach. Fire your speech writer. Your personal experience will mean more to us than anything wordsmithing that someone who does not have your unique perspective could do. (While we are at it, let’s fire the hair coiffer too!) Let some GOP candidate use the old world skills in a new millineum.

Some good things happened in 1970. Heck, Queen Latifah, Uma Thurman, Ani DiFranco, River Phoenix, Andrian Dushev, and Jason Lee were born in 1970. (We sadly also lost Janis Joplin & Jimmy Hendrix that year.) The Ford Pinto was introduced, America gets its first female generals and the voting age was lowered to 18. .. cool stuff. We can be nostalgic for an earlier time.. I am wearing bell bottoms right now… just please …. when considering a career in oration - remember it is 2006. Be yourself… no acting.. no messaging… just give the people your perspective and communicate in such a way that you will be heard and remember.

good night!