I love my life. I e-mail my Mom’s group trying to find a bakery that will create an artistic cake that is also healthy and not a sugar cube (for my son’s first birthday.) No luck. The cakes I taste are yucko and not pretty.

My husband tells me he used to go to this bakery south of market in the 70’s and beyond to pick up penis and boob cakes for his friends. I mildly protest as he drives around trying to find the tiny hole in the wall. Voila… X-Rated cakes in neon.

We go in and I fall in love with the proprietor. He pulls out this index file of pictures for the cake. I will not go into too much detail about the different anatomy parts doing various sports. He tells me he is certain he as a monkey photo that I will love that he can airbrush (low sugar) on to the cake. He searches and searches. We browse the ken dolls in various stages of undress and frosting redress. There are pacifiers of an certain ilk..handcuffs, mugs… everything you could think of.

He finds the photo. It is perfect. Two little monkeys sitting a tree. (not K-i-s-s-i-n-g… just sitting there being cute.) He also has a banana nut (bread) cake that he can fill with real fruit and frost with a low sugar (not fake sugar) light frosting. Yum.

The place is called The Cake Gallery and it is on 290 9th Street in San Francisco. They wll do almost any kind of cake you wish for. Even first birthday low sugar monkey cakes.

I pull my car up to a high rise at the top of the hill on Steiner Street in San Francisco. A lovely valet leaps out as my car rolls to a stop to open my door. I ask her if she knows what floor the event is on - she tells me she has no idea what the event even is.
I mention it is Barack Obama…(http://obama.senate.gov/) girlfriend lights up and says she hopes she can meet him. I tell her I will see what I can do.

The man walks in a room full of 40 people and simply connects with every single person in the room. He walks through the room - not stopping at each person.. simply walking through and gesturing, hand on a shoulder a nod. I am thinking, this guy is a tremendous speaker and he hasn’t even uttered a word.

This is my gig. I teach public speaking. I am super lucky to be invited to these types of rooms and watch what works (and what doesn’t) This man knows how to use metaphor, simile and analogies to create impact with his message. A few thing he said:
Democracy only works when the American people are paying attention. We are now paying attention.

In response to offshoring of employment, “We can not build a moat around America”

We must use the strength of our diplomacy, not the mite of our military.

We are spending 800 million a day.. purchasing from people who vocally hate and want to destroy us. (not his exact words, I didn’t have a pen.)

This guy speaks from the heart. Well done!

I mention to him that there is a gal out front parking cars that wants to meet him, I asked if we could make that happen…. “Already done. (Wink)”

Now that is a man who should be president.

Food poisoning? It turns out it was the stomach flu. The good thing about food poisoning is : your 11-month old baby can’t catch it.
My husband is in Rome for 2-weeks and I have no family near by. I am blessed to have a girlfriend, Amy, who steps in, risks infection and takes care of me and the baby. I thought I understood how difficult being a single parent must be… I can’t even imagine. My hat is off to all the parents out there doing this on their own.
I also realized the impact that daycare has on a child. My husband and I opted for a multi-child daycare situation instead of a nanny. To be honest, I did interview tons of nannies and couldn’t find one that I would let watch my luggage. Ok. After much consideration we convinced ourselves that multi-child daycare would be better for him… he’d get to play with lots of kids.
Cost was a factor. A nanny was almost three times more expensive and we were on a budget.
A few friends have made comments to me lately that it seems like my son is sick a lot. I started thinking about it (there isn’t much else to do but think when your baby is throwing up and needs to be held.) Wow. It is true. Kids who go to daycare are exposed to more germs than kids who are watched by a nanny.
Let’s face it, at daycare, these kids are slobbering all over each other and playing all day long. The minature table and chairs are basically a Petri Dish of germs, flus, bumps and viruses. I heard myself say, “This is the best way to build an immune system, by getting sick.”
Is that true? Is that just want moms tell themselves. Moms who due to financial situation choose the daycare option rather than a nanny? Is this just like the nights I say “Quality time instead of quantity time” when I have worked all day and have some board meeting until 7:30pm.
I guess the badge all moms wear is the badge of responsiblity. Every decision we make will have an impact on our children. Some of the decisions are made out of necessity and when we do not have the choice we wish we had.
I heard the guy living in the white house today on NPR. A reporter asked him, “there have been a ton of books written about you. If you were to write a book on the IRAQ war, what would you say you wish you did differently?”
Then man must have just had lunch with Rove. His reply, “Yeah, there have been a lot of books written on me. I am sure it is probably a record, in terms of number of books about a president. That shows that I had to make some pretty tough decisions.”
That was his answer. No responsibility for any outcome- just a “decision maker.” I can only imagine what the parents of kids over there are thinking today.

it is no secret: i am not a fan of toastmasters. As I wrote on another person’s blog yesterday
” At the risk of offending half the speaking world: Toastmaster is a great thing to do only if you want to cement into your cellular memory every little thing you do that other people do not like.
Last time I checked- we are individuals and we have our own style. The last thing a public speaker needs is to be pelted with negativity.
Think of it this way: I assume most folks reading this blog have, at one time or another, attempted to learn how to ride a bicycle. It is a hot sunny day and there is a grape Kool-Aid ring around your mouth. You cool of the purple glitter banana seat bicycle (showing my age) and straddle the Huffy Rocket. A voice behind you says, “Well, your feet are a little small for this, you aren’t hold the handlebars right, those shorts are an embarassment, the humidity is a little high to be riding today and I just am not happy with your performance. But hey- give it a go.”
Critical Mass (http://www.critical-mass.org/)
would have a few less participants if this is the way we taught bicycling.
Want to be better at public speaking?
1) Careful who you let critique you. They may be petty and absolutely wrong.
2) Go to Bay Area Theatre Sports. It is an Improv class and quite spectacular. it will get you used to thinking on your feet faster than anything will. it is also a lot of fun.
3) Pay attention to what works. notice what you like about other speakers. Practicing this consistently will improve your own ability. We have a tendancy to mimic what we like with out thinking about it.
4) Speaking of mimic.. do not act. Acting is the kiss of death for 98% of humans as we are just not good enough at acting to pull it off. Being ourselves is the best option.
5) Start the speech in such a way that makes you feel comfortable. You. The beginning of a speech is for YOU not the audience. Do not start by thanking everyone.. start with a story. Something that happened to you. Allegory. The communication currency of our time.
6) Practice. Out loud.
Ok. that is just a few tips. i suppose i should do a monthly column or something.
Cheers….

15 years ago I got involved with the Rotary Club and enjoyed my first Camp Enterprise. The camp is for highschool juniors from San Francisco.
www.sfrotary.org/campenterprise.cfm
As the chair of the event for a few years, I enjoyed crafting and evolving the program away from just busines and enterprise and more toward an introduction of all sorts of life’s career path.
I have not been deeply involved for a time. This weekend I taught an hour of public speaking. I was more nervous speaking in front of 40 high shcool juniors than I have ever been with any adult group. A wonderful experience to create a new way of teaching public speaking.
I will not allow myself to be a consultant. Pespective and teaching excellence can only be fostered and retained by being in the arena. (With face marred with sweat and blood..)

I woke up this morning to the wafting scent of a citrus candle. A reminder to be still my biting tongue.
A few weeks ago, I purchased a 20 lb stone candle holder and presented it to my partner. The idea: let’s me mindful of how we speak to each other. We have a communication company- let’s practice new skills in communication.
The idea? If we sense that our communication has a bite- just light the candle. A ritual. No fanfare or admonishment- just light the candle. We can light in response to a bite or in anticipation of our own gnawing jaws.
The result has been incredible. Not only does our home smell like a catholic church or Pier 1 Imports- we are more gentle in our married talk. Treating each other better.
Ritual: alive, well working.