Remain Lofty,
I have never heard this sentiment before. My tendonitus fingers, even when in their healthiest form, would under perform in my attempt to describe the wave of understanding that preceded the goose bumps.
My friend Andrea is a brilliant woman. She is responsible for a movement. She heard a deafening silence in the progressive movement and has strived the past 4 years to beat a verbal drum.
There is a low rumble on the hills… and with any sound creating an echo.. the pitch is a tiny bit less resonant… and on the horizon .. marching in syncopated rhythm.. the detail brigade.
In the middle of an important meeting that will launch her vision into reality, Andrea met with all the details and contract rigmorale. As a true visionary would, she is able to in the moment connect back in to exactly what the progressive movement needs to remember.
Amid all that quagmire of i’s to dot and t’s to cross, she said “We must remain lofty.”
More than a bumper sticker, these words speak to our stumbles, no more than that, our hesitating the past few years. Most of us - in our vision- whatever that may be.
I am reminded today to dream.. dream ahead of my task list.. despite of my task list.
As I considered for a moment where my digits would lead me as I closed this record of my day, my son did his nightly search for me. Each night, about an hour after he falls asleep, he wakes up, actually rolls over into the crawl position and pecks around looking for his mommy to nurse. I do not think he is awake - he is sleep pecking… eyes closed.. in search of a warm breast to nourish and cuddle. He is dreaming. He has no fear - there is blind faith that I am there waiting for him. I am.

If you live in the Bay Area, you are familar with the Hotel Workers strike against the Hyatt and various properties in San Francisco. I have studied this battle and after a ton of input, continued to conclude that the Unions were using a media manipulation tactic to gain an unfair advantage in mediation. Basically, the hotels conceded with every measure, except the contract date. The unions want all contracts nationally to end on the same day - the Hotels will not agree to this as it gives up too much bargaining power.
I could go a lot of places with this post - here we go. Gavin Newsom, our Mayor, received a lot of support and funding from the Hotel Council in San Francisco. Yet, our gutsy Mayor, woke up one morning, plastered some gel in his hair, and walked a picket line with the union workers. Whether I agree with him or not- damn, that is someone who is NOT a politician. Made me really respect the guy.
Last week, I was sitting in a board meeting for Emerge California. www.emergeca.org
At the beginning of the meeting, we provided time for the local Union to come in and talk to us about their fight. As the young representative talked about the situation, I must admit I looked at my fingernails once or twice. Then….
A woman in her 50’s stood up and introduced herself. She paused and looked around the room. She asked us, “Think about the last time you changed a pillowcase. She stopped for a moment and asked the question again. She then asked, “Imagine changing pillowcases all day. Can you imagine it? All day long. This is not easy labor.”
I hate changing pillowcases. It is not easy work. Why do we pay hotel workers, primarily women, at such a low wage. is it because this is a traditionally female dominated position? Do we not consider it hard work.
I realized I was sitting in a room getting ready to talk about politics and women. I am also in a city where our Mayor is putting women in traditionally male roles.. police fire…
This woman changed the way I feel about this hotel strike.
How? She didn’t talk ‘about’ things.. no charts… no graphs… just shared a human experience. In such a powerful way. To make it more powerful, next time she can bring a couple of pillows and have folks actually do it.
Now that, the pillowcase method, is great communication. To change a mind, we must first be heard. I heard you dear.

I am having fun writing a book. I should say completing a book as it has been a project in my life for quite awhile.
Last week I was writing in my chapter about some advice Dr. Richard Allen gave to me about communication. Actually, he wasn’t directing the advice to me.. we were just chatting about how folks can sometimes go into drama and the appropriate responses to this drama.
I added this idea to my book realizing I was going to need to test it out at least 10 times to prove it is a sound theory.
Today was the day. I still do some sales work for the company I recently sold. It is a wonderful sound business; yet folks calling in are sometimes quite rude and dramatic. So this guy Jack calls me and leaves a message. Sounds like a nice man on the message so I give him a call back. He answers the phone and will not acknowledge who he is until I go through 20 questions. Once I convince him I am actually returning his call, he chastises me for not being clear that he had called me.
No worries. We are all busy and we are all plagued by sales people cold calling. He starts asking me about my business. I let him know what my experience has shown and my opinion on a few questions he has.
The man flips out. It is difficult to describe the next 3 minutes. He is attacking me and being so incredibly rude I just couldn’t believe it. He yells over and over again that I my opinion is wrong and that I should never say what I said again. Over and over he says the same thing. A new volume each time.
I thought about letting him know that we likely were not a good fit for him. Instead, I said over and over again, “You are exactly right Jack.” After my third time saying you are exactly right, he paused… stuttered and said, Um, hold on.
After sitting on hold for 2 minutes I quietly hung up the phone.
What I think happened: He realized in the middle of his tirade that he was in a tirade. I suspect if I called him today he would be a super nice man.
I won’t be calling him. It is just nice to know the technique works.
Wow. This stuff reallly works.

All day I had been looking forward to going to The Lab (www.thelab.org) and seeing some friends with their kinetic sculputer and metal fire fun. Brett, our nephew, needed to see some visual feasts not found in Austin Texas. Right before it became time to saddle up, my little precious pitter patter, Sebastian, made it clear he was not going.
John encouraged me to go ahead and take the kid and he would stay home with the baby. I considered this option for a moment and realized Brett is surrounded by women: his mom, aunt Jean and Grandmother Lillian. This boy needs some guy time.
The baby fell asleep quite easily. My MAC was temporarily broken, (Thank you Eric for fixing it) so I was unable to sit next to the baby and write in my book. Thumb twiddle thumb twiddle.
So I get up and start doing what I do when I am bored …. cleaning up my e-mail in-box. (We do not have television. My husband doesn’t have TV for philosophical reasons. I share his reasons. I must say though, I got rid of my television over a decade ago when I realized it was crack for me and I did not have will power. We don’t miss it.. really. My sister TIVO’s shows so when I go to visit she can keep me culurally up to date.)
I digress….again. I see an e-mail from Verne Harnish (www.gazelles.com) .. he is a business guru who facilitates the Birthing of Giants (http://www.inc.com/events/birthingofgiants/) program I was in. In this e-mail, he reminds me that my friend Jason Abernathy, someone I respect and admire, suggested we watch www.thesecret.tv
I am about to trash it when I realize Jason is someone I should listen to. I am hovering over the delete button as my little boy wakes up. I move some blankets and pillows into my office, cuddle little Sebastian up so he will fall back asleep, and pay my 5.00 to watch thesecret.tv
I must be blunt. The first 5-minutes of this program made me gag. I can not think of anyone who I trust enough to continue watching this thing. I continue watching - I trust Jason that much.
It is quite incredible. A concept I have lived most of my life. A concept I lost touch with in the past few years. I am so thankful to be reminded of it.
It views like an info-mmercial. It will make you gag. They do not try to sell you anything at the end. Watch it.

What does a person do with a 12-year old nephew from Austin Texas? About a year ago, before the baby was born, we invited Brett here for the summer. His dance card fairly full with other relatives, we were able to negotiate a week of fun with this fast talking preteen.
He was only here for about 10-minutes when I let my husband know that we are not going to give him back. He has more energy and pep than 3 of the most hyper people I know meshed together. The first morning I woke up to the sound fo someone sweeping- this kid got up early and did some “chores” around the house without anyone asking. I let him know I would be responsible for showing hm the slacker side of life for the rest of his San Francisco vacation.
We take him to Santa Cruz Beach Boardwalk. He has never seen the ocean and has only ridden on one rollercoaster. (two now) The ride down highway one was filled with questions and more laughter.
Kids will try just about anything. There is this concession sign that sells Deep Fried Twinkies… you did not read that wrong. Deep Fried Twinkies. Deep Fried Oreos… you name it. You remember Twinkies… they are that food we loved as kids… the food that is spray painted brown on the bottom so it appears the cake was baked.
I convinved Brett to try it. The pink faced boy behind the counter let us know the Deep Fried Twinkie is actually at the top of the food pyramid.
With much trepidation, he took the first bite. The look on his face was one of pure enjoyment and elation. I sampled a piece and truly folks, I could not believe how yummy it was. It is like the best yellow butter cake ever created. i was only allowed one bite so I can not elaborate.
Okay, so in this scenario it was really easy to break one of my cardinal rules “Don’t judge a book by its cover.” As I walked around the boardwalk after sampling the decadence of 100% trans fat and no nutritional value, I actively started looking for what I liked.
The foundation of my communcations training is for folks to watch for what they like in oher beings. It causes our cellular memory to retain the positive and it causes others to feel more open to us. This practice also lightens our mood and makes our communications pathways more open. Remember, I am a verbal communications coach.. I fail miserably in writing.
I realized that I was not following my own creed… as I walked around the noise and the rides I was not watching for what I liked. Once I began this process, once I stopped judging the twinkie by its cover, I saw some incredible relationships. Families. Friends. People.
It is a beautiful world out there.